Tolstoy was right—happy families are all alike. At least they share certain basic characteristics. Here are a few of the foundations experts say are key to a loving, cheerful home:
1. Create cuddle time. You can’t overdose on hugs. It’s important for families to spend time snuggling in bed together, reading, or talking or playing games. This kind of positive touch helps kids feel loved and secure, plus it’s fun for parents!
2. Sing together, stay together. The Von Trapp family had it right—singing together is a terrific way to bond as a family. Make up your own words to your favorite tunes; dance around the living room with your children; and use music to motivate room cleaning.
3. Make room for fun. While it’s good to encourage your children’s schoolwork and extracurricular activities, too much emphasis on them can create tension and anxiety. Make time for activities that have no purpose other than to allow family members to enjoy spending time together. Play games, plot surprise parties, take long walks, explore a cave, plant a garden, or cook.
4. Exercise together. Take a run or a bike ride to a local park with your child. At the park, you can take time to relax while your child plays in the sandbox or on the seesaw. This kind of outing allows parents to model healthy behavior, get exercise, and spend time with their kids.
5. Create healthy habits. Junk food high in salt and sugar may taste appealing, but it will play havoc with your family’s health and moods. Create healthy snacking habits by leaving out bowls of fruit, cut-up vegetables, nuts, or dried fruit.
6. Cook together. This is another way to get kids interested in healthy foods. While you’re whipping up dinner with your children you are encouraging healthy eating habits as well as teaching cooking, measurement, teamwork, and improvisational skills. Also, kids who help makes meals are more likely to eat them.
7. Reward good behavior. It’s important to reinforce your child’s good behavior. But there’s no need to be extravagant. A trip to the humane shelter, a visit to the zoo, a movie and popcorn, or a slightly later bedtime can be good motivators.
8. Read and write together. Make time every day for reading. Read aloud to the kids, or have the whole family spend time with their own books, or listen to an audiobook. Cuddling up on the couch can make it even cozier. It’s also important for children to spend some time writing each day.
9. Go one-on-one. Parents with more than one child should try to spend a little time interacting just with one child each day, even if it’s just for ten minutes. That special time with a parent helps the child feel special and to bond with you.
10. Have routines. Kids thrive when they know what to expect. So bedtime routines that involve bath, stories, and songs before sleep can minimize nighttime misbehavior. A morning routine can also help you get out the door faster with little fuss.
11. Appreciate each other. Find little ways to show how much you value each other. One idea is to do a little happy dance every time a child returns from school or a parent from work.
12. Remember sorry isn’t enough. When one of your children hurts the feelings of a sibling, it’s not enough to apologize. That child must also find a way to help heal the hurt she has caused, by helping with a chore or sharing a toy.
13. Prioritize your marriage The most important thing you can do for your child is to love your spouse and to demonstrate that love. This models a good relationship for your child and helps to keep your marriage intact
5 Things To Look for in a Great Job Interview
In my career I have reviewed thousands of resumes and conducted hundreds of employment interviews for both The Trademark Company and other businesses for which I have worked. In doing so, I got to see the good, the bad, and the downright ugly in terms of resumes, interviewing skills, and the like. For other CEOs looking to hire, here’s what I think makes a great candidate stand out from the good ones.
1. Attention to detail
How many times have you heard this one, right? Pay attention to detail. Let me say it again: PAY ATTENTION TO DETAIL!
A man goes into a restaurant. He’s having a bowl of soup and he says to the waiter, “Waiter come taste the soup.” The waiter says, “Is something wrong with the soup?” He says “Taste the soup.” The waiter says again, “Is there something wrong with the soup? Is the soup too hot?” The man says again, “Will you taste the soup?“ “What’s wrong, is the soup too cold?” Replies the waiter. “Will you just taste the soup?!” “All right, I’ll taste the soup,” says the waiter, “where’s the spoon??” “Aha. Aha! …”
At this point you may be asking yourself, “So what does this have to do with identifying a great candidate?”
Not less than two months ago I received a wonderful e-mail from an applicant seeking to work for The Trademark Company. The e-mail was personally crafted. The note struck a wonderful tone emphasizing capability and a willingness to learn more about what we do here. Most importantly, the candidate emphasized attention to detail. I was sold. I was ready to open up the resume and see what they had to offer. And then, “Aha. Aha! …”
The applicant had failed to attach a resume. In the blink of an eye, all of the time spent preparing for this submission–researching me, the company, and the job’s requirements–vanished into thin air. Poof!
Some CEOs may have overlooked this and just asked for the resume. But you can’t say you have an eye for detail and then fail to deliver on the point. Everything job candidates do, from cover letter to resume and beyond, must prove that point. Otherwise they are just wasting your time. I passed on that candidate.
My contracts professor in law school told this one to the class one day. Although he was an otherwise socially challenged individual, this story has always stayed with me.
It seems that at some juncture he was involved in delivering a speech on some topic that involved a “public option.” He had written and prepared the speech but had left the PowerPoint slide presentation to one of his assistants.
Well, as he began delivering his speech–a seemingly dry speech–he could not understand why a wave of chuckles and murmurs would, from time to time, arise from the audience. It was not until he neared the end of his presentation that he glanced up at the screen projecting the bullet points of his speech behind him. And right there, right in that moment, he understood with perfect clarity why his speech had evoked the unexpected reaction from the crowd.
If you omit the letter “L” from the word “public,” it won’t be flagged by spell check. It will, however, be picked up by anyone else reading the slides as you deliver your speech on the “pubic option.”
This could very well be you at your next sales presentation: pissed and embarrassed because you overlooked your employee’s failure to proofread his resume during the hiring process. So, check the candidate’s resume and cover letter for misspellings that spell check might have missed. In so doing you will make sure that you hire someone that’s thorough and doesn’t rely on spell check to do their job.
One of the first things I always do after an interviewee leaves is to ask every single person who came into contact with them what they thought. Why you might ask? You never know what little windows into your prospective employee this may provide.
Once I asked one of our receptionists what she thought of a particular interviewee. I was very surprised to hear what she had to say. She said she thought the interviewee was pleasant but did have some trouble when she first arrived: It seems that the prospective employee had no idea who she was interviewing with, so the receptionist had to call around the office for 10 minutes until she could figure out who to notify that their appointment had arrived.
I thought this displayed a lack of preparedness on the interviewee’s part, especially as she was interviewing for a job that had primary scheduling responsibilities for me and would require her to know and keep track of all of our most important customers.
In another case, after a 45-minute interview the interviewee stood and said, “Mark, thanks for the second interview.” Big problem: My name is actually Matt. Nevertheless, I shrugged it off–perhaps I had misheard the applicant, or maybe he had simply had a momentary lapse. However, when I walked him to the door he proudly reiterated my name, “Mark, again thanks. I look forward to hearing from you.” Every fiber in my being yearned to reply, “Well, if I meet this Mark fellow, I’ll be sure to have him call you.” I did not. I also did not call him back.
A candidate should know everything about you that they can find out and engage you on a level that you will enjoy and that moves you one step closer to offering them the job.
4. Phone and e-mail correspondence
Another thing that also gets overlooked is professionalism in e-mail and phone communications. I pay attention to the candidate’s e-mail address and how they answer their personal phone.
Sure we all have private lives, but we all have to be professional in dealing with employers–and, most importantly, prospective employers. So if a candidate’s e-mail address is “firstname.lastname@example.org” or “email@example.com,” think twice about hiring him. Gmail, Yahoo and other companies have a great price point for new e-mail addresses: free. There’s no excuse for not having a professional-looking e-mail address.
For me, an interview starts when I call you to set up the interview. Recently I called an applicant, and they must have been at a the reunion tour of Van Halen–because when the candidate answered, all I could hear was “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love” blasting through my phone. I mean, it was so loud I could actually see people in my office starting to bob their heads to the tunes.
After a few attempts shouting into the phone–“Is [Name Omitted] there?”–finally the music departed and I was able to hear once again. The heads stopped bobbing in my office and the person on the other end said, “Speaking.” Ahhhh. Well, I know they love music…and that they lack judgement.
5. Honesty is overrated
Yes, you want your potential employee to answer questions truthfully, but answering too truthfully may also show a lack of judgment. For instance, I often ask the hypothetical question, “If you were hired and six months after you were hired another opportunity presented itself, would you go on an interview for that opportunity?” You would be surprised at how many people say they would. Wrong answer!
Let’s take one of my more infamous examples. Once I was asking a prospective employee to explain an 18-month gap in his employment history. To this day I remember his response verbatim. It went like this: “Man, the whole work thing … ya’ know … like, wow.” I was left mouth agape and speechless. Needless to say: He did not get the job.
Click on below
when you really NEED something so much !
When two people of the opposite sex see in each others eyes, they feel like they knew each other much before they even met. That’s true love when a person waits for the right person to arrive in their lives though they always loved each other !!! alas ! only a few number of people can love so deeply,madly and truly . And often they end up with the wrong partner all their lives. The best way to find the one is to be patient and hopeful. When a person is not really in love or that love lacks depth, that person screws it all by making his or her karma full of misdeeds and stupidity. One thing we have to know about people is that not all are loking for love , they are just looking for compatibility , sexual satisfation and companion ship. Sexual grafitication is ,in most cases is the single most important facter when human beings opt for. Fort me that is quite sickning, all the stuff, all the fire crackers and all the hoopla just for sex ! Do they really know what they are looking for…that’s definitely that we can call love. Because at the end of the day ,all a man, as a matter of fact a woman needs a parter who looks deep in his eyes and says ‘’evrything is just fine, just hug me tight and let the worries rest in peace’’. Life is so rude and tough to combat in every day of our lives, but when a person is linked to a romantic relationship , its almost feels like you can move a mountain. It feels so strong, it makle you a better man !
What I have observed in todays extremely fast lifestyle is that women are always looking for a perfect partner in a male; he should be suave,smart,confident,affluent and ofcourse shuld treat her like a crap so she can be sure he is a real ‘’man’’. Destiny , as usual tells the real story and after waking after a dream they realize that the man who was trembling in his pants was a much better person. Yeah , when a man really gets to respect a woman , it doesn’t matter she deservers it or not , he is not that confident as he is in real life , and that turns a woman off. But life is not perfect! is it ?
IN reality, things doesn’t happen the way it happens in the movies, Men also needs a tell tale signs just to be sure, Is she the one he is looking for ? But conjuring up the guts to propose a girl is a tricky stuff, you know the police and lawyers, the fathers and the Brthers of the certain miss fast number. If a female has a slightest idea that the male is not the confident type, she can scream ‘’foul’’. And that Mr.right could end up in a big rut. It happens a lot.
Never try to woo a feamel who has lost all hope of finding a ‘’soulmate’’ for herself. People usually chase after those things that matters to them the most. If a man ha lost all hope to find a woman fro himself, coxing them out of their shell wont work, but a person can be lucky. Luck strikes at us when we least hoped for…just like tragidy.
You want to find the right person ? Then be the right person first and love yourself, stand by yourself like a rock when everybody around you gives a crap what ever you are going through. How can you love someone when you havent been able to take care of yourself ?
But the most important thing is …
KEEP YOUR KARMA CLEAN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE , BECAUSE WHAT YOU SAW IS WHAT YOU REAP.
How about a married women who actually found a great man finally but because of her past karma…she is full of guilt ?
Be good and be smart because life is short and miles to go before we sleep !
Six Keys to Crafting Your Story
Starting from the time we have enough of a vocabulary to string together two sentences, we start telling stories — and even before that, we are entranced by them. The poet Mariel Rukeyser wrote “The universe is made of stories, not atoms.” While that isn’t literally true, we all recognize the wisdom in the thought. Our lives are a collection stories, strung together one after another.
We make sense of our lives through stories, relate our experiences through stories and therefore stories are an incredibly powerful way to communicate, influence and lead.
While some people think “I’m not a storyteller,” that isn’t true. We are all storytellers. My point isn’t to convince you to tell stories to communicate your message more clearly, it is to help you do it more effectively and intentionally.
Reread the previous paragraph. Before I get to the six keys promised in the title, and before you can focus on these important keys, you must own the fact that you can and do tell stories.
So, let’s make the stories we tell achieve the goals we have for them — to instruct, explain and, in the end, sell our ideas to others. As leaders, we must sell ideas. As co-workers, we must sell ideas. As spouses, parents and friends, we want and need to sell ideas.
So how can you use stories to do that more effectively?
The Six Keys
Start with the goal. While stories are critical to your communication success, it isn’t about the story – it is about the message. What are you trying to communicate? What is the action you want your listener to take? Write down that key point, that message. Once you have that crystallized, the rest of this process gets easier.
Pick the story. This is important. While one story could match different messages, the goal is to make sure the story, and the way you tell it, makes the compelling and memorable point you want communicated. The story can be someone else’s story, a popular story or a story you read or heard. Any of these will work, but generally speaking the stories from your personal experience will be the most effective.
Hone the story. Once you pick a story, construct it based on the message you want to deliver. This may require you to shorten some parts or expand others. It might require different context. Think to about how you will tell it . . . first person? Third person? Attributed? All of these things will impact your story’s effectiveness, so take them into account from the start.
Use descriptive language. You don’t have to describe every detail (this counterbalances the next point, doesn’t it?), but you need to tell the story in a way that allows the other person to see and experience it; it is that experience that makes your story powerful.
Keep it short. Your goal is for your story to forward and solidify your message. Nothing more. So as you hone your story, do it with a knife, carving the story to its essential and important message.
Practice! If you are going to tell the story in a meeting, presentation or even to make a point in ongoing conversation, it will be more effective if you practice it. Consider specific word choice, timing, as well as length. Practice it, keeping these factors in mind. Realize that most people’s tendency is for a story to get longer on retelling, which is why the steps of clear message and honing are so important. When you practice, focus on how others will receive your message. You can even have someone listen to the story as you practice to give you valuable feedback.
You are already a storyteller. These steps will help you be a more intentional and effective one.
Start practicing today — your communication and influence depend on it.
A curious mind: a curious mind loves to learn new things. If you have ever watched a small child play you will know exactly what I mean. So instead of just accepting things “as is”, ask yourself the questions: What? How? Why? Who? When?
An open mind: some of our beliefs and actions are so ingrained that we automatically disregard any evidence that we should think or act otherwise. Keep an open mind, and you may just come across a better way of seeing or doing things.
A willingness to change: it is one thing to want to live a better life, but are you really willing to make the necessary changes? The following quote explains this concept perfectly:
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” – Albert Einstein
Defining your values and principles: who are you? What are you about? And what do you value? If you don’t have one already, I highly recommend taking the time to write a personal mission statement.
Awareness: are you on autopilot? If so, turn it off and decide to live consciously. In short, this means to being committed to awareness as a way of existing in the world. Awareness of your beliefs, awareness of your own power, and awareness of your freedom to choose your own destiny.
Self-discipline: you may have the best intentions in the world, but without self-discipline you will fall victim to the temptation. If you have problems with self-discipline, burn the following quote into your memory and recall it whenever temptation arises:
what is key of success?
Success is everybody’s dream. But what is the key to success? How can you be successful? In my post about defining successful people, I wrote that we should measure success based on how much we give rather than how much we receive. Fortunately, it also works nicely the other way around since those who give more almost always will also receive more.
The key to success is making yourself as useful as possible to others.
That’s it. Making yourself as useful as possible to others.
If you focus on applying this, others will realize the value they get from you and they will attract more people to come to you. These new people will also realize the value they get from you and they will attract even more people to come to you. The virtuous cycle begins and you are now on your way to success.
With this principle in mind, you should aim at increasing your usefulness to others. How do you do that? Here are some ideas:
1. Be observant of needs
To be useful to others, you should always be aware of even the slightest clues of needs. The more sensitive you are to the needs of others, the more appreciative people will eventually become. The best scenario is being able to anticipate a need before the other people are even aware of it.
2. Find solutions to the needs
Now that you are aware of needs, the next step is finding solutions to them. The solutions you offer should be as useful as possible. To be able to do so, there is no other way but to continuously build your own value. It is from the value you have that you could give value to others.
3. Be proactive to help
Do not wait for the other person to ask for your help. Be proactive. Give your help even before they ask.
4. Be sincere
What matters is not only the solution you offer, but also the way you deliver it. Being sincere means being glad to help others without expecting anything in return. Make it your joy to give something to others. People can somehow distinguish whether or not you are sincere.
5. Go the extra mile
Doing the above four steps is good, but add this one if you can: give more than expected. First, give what is expected, and then add a little more. If you do the above four steps people will be appreciative, but if you add this one step they will be impressed.
10 Ways To Improve Your Personality
What is Personality?
The “personality” is the typical pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaviors that make a person unique.
When we say that someone has a “good personality” we mean that they are likeable, interesting and pleasant to be with.
Everyone wants to be attractive to others. To that end, having a good personality is vital – probably even more so than good looks. In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success and happiness will be a result of how well you interact with others. Ultimately, it is your personality that determines whether people are attracted to, or shy away from you.
While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we have the ability to improve the personality as much
Here are some ways we can accomplish this:
1. Be a better listener.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world because she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She was known for the way she would look a person in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them feel important. There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you intently making you feel like you’re the only person in the world.
2. Read more and expand your interests.
The more you read and cultivate new interests, the more interesting you are to others. When you meet new people it gives you the opportunity to share what you know and to exchange your views with them.
3. Be a good conversationalist.
This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how to talk about it with others. No one can read about or know everything, so it’s refreshing to learn from others those things we don’t have the time to about read ourselves. If you happen to be shy, join a group like Toastmasters that encourages you to talk about what you know.
# Have an Opinion.
There is nothing more tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If, however, you have an uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you are more interesting and stimulating to be with socially (unless you’re a know-it-all, of course). A unique outlook expands everyone’s perspective.
# Meet New People.
Make the effort to meet new people especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to different cultures and alternative ways of doing things, it broadens your horizons.
# Be yourself.
The next most tiresome thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you’re not. Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us is unique, expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting to be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a lack of authenticity.
# Have a positive outlook and attitude.
Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming. Instead, be the kind of upbeat person who lights up a room with your energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with your presence.
See: How to Think Positively
8. Be fun and see the humorous side of life
Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh, or smile, so look for the humorous, quirky side in a situation – there always is one. Comic relief is a much welcome and needed diversion at times. When you can add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or gloomy setting, others will naturally be attracted to you, not to mention grateful.
# Be supportive of others.
Being supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can integrate into your personality. Just as you yourself welcome it, be the support for others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps pick us up when we’re down.
# Have Integrity and treat people with respect.
Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration, respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person’s personality more than integrity and respect – respect for others, as well as respect for yourself.
We humans have the power and ability to shape our personalities however we wish. When we develop ourselves to be all that we can be, we contribute to our own, as well as the happiness of others.
A graphic designer on the phone with his client.
Designer: Hi. I’m just updating the copy for your form and was wondering if you meant to say “programs” for the third question.
Client: No! What I sent along was completely accurate. Just copy it over exactly as it says. I’ll explain it nice and slowly for you.
Designer: “Please indicate which pogroms you’ve attended”?
Client: Yeah, that should be programs.
Hello My Dear Friend !
On the day of meeting with my friend Abdul Nafy Cacepoto he is one most educate person in the world. Some friend met another friend for passing time but in face some are ideal friend in the life memory i am one who have one friend of this type.I have intrastate to met those person who are like Fire (work both side profit and loss).
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” — Edith Wharton
Note: keep care in choose friend and person who met you.
Posted on Dec 30, 2011
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about grandfather,” said the son. I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather’s direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making the bowl for you and mama to eat.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day that building blocks are being laid for the child’s future.Let us all be wise builders and role models. Take care of yourself, … and those you love, … today, and everyday!